With all the hoopla about people unable to find their keys, I decided to dig down to the heart of the matter.

Now, you might think that the main reason is that they just aren’t organized, however being disorganized, in my opinion, is only an excuse. And, albeit a good reason because we all need excuses for something that didn’t go quite right, my prognosis is that we’re dealing with something that goes beyond disorganization – essentially, it goes under it.

My discovery is that these excuses are actually the reason, so let’s examine these. And, when I say the word “excuse” I mean reason.

1. Someone else moved the keys. This excuse only works if there is a “someone” living with you. We can’t assume that a guest moved them, now can we? Unless, of course, you have a housekeeper. They are notorious for moving your stuff, in which case, they are the prime suspect in missing keys.

2. You changed purses and forgot to change contents. Now, this excuse only works if you’re a woman. However, some men do carry a form of a purse these days, so it could apply to them, as well. Changing purses is a difficult task, as it is, let alone making sure to transfer everything you need from one to the other, sheesh!

3. Your purse is too big. Again, this works for women, unless you’re a man with a big “purse.” The trouble with big purses is that there are too many compartments. How can anyone be expected to remember which compartment the keys fell into, especially if you were in a hurry to drop them inside? Once dropped inside a large purse, they can eventually be found upon emptying the entire contents from it.

4. You left your keys on the counter. This is a really good excuse. It has to do with forgetfulness and not being disorganized, thank goodness. Many people confuse these two things, and they are actually entirely different animals. This also applies to leaving your keys on a table at a restaurant or on a counter at a retail shop, too. After all, we get distracted or we’re in a hurry, and this can lead to slight mishaps in leaving keys behind.

5. Your pet is a thief. For this excuse, you actually need a pet, and one that is known for taking your stuff and hiding them in their bed or under the sofa, or some such place around the house (or yard). Cats are the worse culprit because they love swiping small things off table tops and then chasing it around until the item is left alone after the cat is bored of it, or just can’t get to into the small crevice it got flung into.

6. Your child thinks keys are theirs. Once more, you need a child for this excuse to be used. Children are notorious for key theft and are considered quite innocent of the crime, too. In most cases, they actually believe the keys are theirs for the taking, especially if they are within reach or just sitting there waiting to be played with. And, they have no boundaries on where the keys end up because the entire home is their play field. So, these key playthings can end up just about anywhere when they are done with them. And, don’t get me going with people who entice them to do this by putting all sorts of dangling things on their key chains either.

7. Key locations keep changing. This is one of the best excuses for people who don’t have a particular place to set their keys down on. I myself even use this excuse because sometimes I come and go from the back door and sometimes from the front door, and sometimes I dropped them in my purse instead of placing them down in a designated spot. But, let’s not talk about me. I’m sure there are others.

8. Keys were left in car ignition. This is an easy one to forget, and a good excuse after you’ve looked all over the house for them, and sifted through your purse a dozen or so times. It usually dawns on you eventually that there was the possibly you left them in the car. This discovery can be a happy one or a dreadful one – depending on whether or not you locked your car when you left it. Oh, and a similar excuse to this is leaving keys in the door lock. That could be Excuse #9, but I don’t like odd number lists.

So, these are the top reasons, or excuses I came up with after extensive research into the matter. I cannot reveal my research resources, however. I promised anonymity.